"Mr. Clark's quintet... swirl their hair around their foreheads instead of wearing it in a beefeater bob."

Thanks to the NYT for explaining how to tell the difference between a Dave Clark 5 hairdo and a Beatles hairdo — assuming you know what the hell a "beefeater bob" is. (I'm picturing some guy saying "Hi, I'm Beefeater Bob.") The Times notes that the DC5 played Carnegie Hall and claims that the "big question" was whether they got their fans to scream more than the Beatles did 2 months ago.

The determinant in such cases is how much of the music, if any, can penetrate the sustained sound emitted by the votaries.

Yeah, that is the way the NYT insists on continuing to write in the modern world. The newspaper is hopelessly square. Where is the mod newspaper that I want to read now?

Look, here's how they describe the DC5's clothes:

They wear high, tight, wight collars, black jackets and what were once known as "ice cream pants."

Ice cream pants! Again, a helpful description. What the hell are ice cream pants? You know, I know what the Dave Clark 5 look like. These descriptions only make me wonder what these other references are. Descriptions are supposed to work the other way around.

In challenging the sonic inspirational qualities of the Beatles, Mr. Clark had one more man than the first group and two particularly penetrating instruments (saxophone and electronic keyboard) that the Beatles lack.

Congratulations on figuring out the the Dave Clark 5 has 5 guys in it.

Would it kill you to say something interesting?

The Clark group appears to play louder than the Beatles.

But you still couldn't hear them. That's the main point, as far as the Times can see. Oh, these noisy, noisy groups, and their noisy, ridiculous fans. You know the day will come when they'll figure out how to turn all the instruments and microphones up and we won't hear the girls scream anymore. We'll go deaf, of course, but before we do, we'll get to hear our favorite bands play.

Anyway, the Dave Clark 5 played for 24 minutes (the same as the Beatles). 24 unheard minutes. What pleasure. Well, they filled out th show with 2 "folk-singing groups" but it just bored the DC5 fans. And the NYT doesn't even tell us the names of those folky groups. Man, talk about getting no respect. The Dave Clark 5 fans don't care about them and the NYT won't even name them.

THE YEAR THAT BLOG FORGOT IS: 1964.

Now that the curfews are lifting and people are going to nightclubs again...

... let's ask a psychology professor: Why do people go to nightclubs?

Nightclubs evolved out of the speakeasies of the Prohibition Era, and these days they are mostly legal, but there is still a bit of a sense that they are sinful and risqué.

At the bar of the Stork Club... a coated matron raised her voice.

"I do as much for the war effort as anybody," she told her male civilian companion defiantly. If consuming liquor was aiding the war effort, she seemed to be in a fair way that night night of winning the Japanese conflict single-handedly....

People come to nightclubs just to congregate — to see and to be seen...

J. Edgar Hoover is to be found at the far part of the Cub Room with his aide, Clyde Tolson...

The debs com in for lunch, drink mostly coke (at 75 cents a bottle, nickel size) or milk....

"I wonder if they're going to be married," they say. "Isn't that a divine hat?" or a "fetching frock," or a "charming ensemble," or "Why isn't he in the Army?"...

Taking in a night club is a big event in small people's lives. Most people have always had the desire to go and now they feel they can satisfy that desire.

Do we really need an explanation? People want to enjoy life — and the enjoyment of life is within reach. It's not wrong to want to dress up and go out to eat and drink and have a little fun. It's a simple pleasure.

THE YEAR THAT BLOG FORGOT IS: 1945.

"I am not an advocate of the use of the bicycle among women, when viewing it from the morality phase."

So wrote the Rev. W.W. Reynolds, pastor of the Brightwood Methodist Church of Indianapolis.

Women of refinement and exquisite moral training addicted to the use of the bicycle are not infrequently thrown among the uncultivated and degenerate element of both sexes, whose coarse, boisterous, and immoral gestures are heard and seen while speeding along our streets and boulevards.

Get a grip, Reynolds. He goes on about the "shorter dresses than the laws of morality and decency permit." Spare me. Women want to be mobile, and shorter dresses are a practical adaptation. Reynolds seems terribly concerned about morality, and well he should be, as his mind is apparently roiling with sexual feeling. Let him take care of that one way or the other. And let the women bicycle wherever they please, wearing whatever clothing is suitable for the healthy enterprise.

THE YEAR THAT BLOG FORGOT IS: 1899.

Camisoles!

Does anyone even know that word? It's underwear. Ladies' underwear. We're wearing underwear on the outside now. We're baring our souls these days... and we're wearing our underwear on the outside now.

THE YEAR THAT BLOG FORGOT IS: 1974.