"Mr. Clark's quintet... swirl their hair around their foreheads instead of wearing it in a beefeater bob."

Thanks to the NYT for explaining how to tell the difference between a Dave Clark 5 hairdo and a Beatles hairdo — assuming you know what the hell a "beefeater bob" is. (I'm picturing some guy saying "Hi, I'm Beefeater Bob.") The Times notes that the DC5 played Carnegie Hall and claims that the "big question" was whether they got their fans to scream more than the Beatles did 2 months ago.

The determinant in such cases is how much of the music, if any, can penetrate the sustained sound emitted by the votaries.

Yeah, that is the way the NYT insists on continuing to write in the modern world. The newspaper is hopelessly square. Where is the mod newspaper that I want to read now?

Look, here's how they describe the DC5's clothes:

They wear high, tight, wight collars, black jackets and what were once known as "ice cream pants."

Ice cream pants! Again, a helpful description. What the hell are ice cream pants? You know, I know what the Dave Clark 5 look like. These descriptions only make me wonder what these other references are. Descriptions are supposed to work the other way around.

In challenging the sonic inspirational qualities of the Beatles, Mr. Clark had one more man than the first group and two particularly penetrating instruments (saxophone and electronic keyboard) that the Beatles lack.

Congratulations on figuring out the the Dave Clark 5 has 5 guys in it.

Would it kill you to say something interesting?

The Clark group appears to play louder than the Beatles.

But you still couldn't hear them. That's the main point, as far as the Times can see. Oh, these noisy, noisy groups, and their noisy, ridiculous fans. You know the day will come when they'll figure out how to turn all the instruments and microphones up and we won't hear the girls scream anymore. We'll go deaf, of course, but before we do, we'll get to hear our favorite bands play.

Anyway, the Dave Clark 5 played for 24 minutes (the same as the Beatles). 24 unheard minutes. What pleasure. Well, they filled out th show with 2 "folk-singing groups" but it just bored the DC5 fans. And the NYT doesn't even tell us the names of those folky groups. Man, talk about getting no respect. The Dave Clark 5 fans don't care about them and the NYT won't even name them.

THE YEAR THAT BLOG FORGOT IS: 1964.

"Max Conrad, 47-year-old songwriter and father of nine children, arrived at La Guardia Airport at 2:39 o'clock yesterday afternoon..."

"... with four snappy new tunes in his portfolio." He flew solo in a light plane from California and broke a speed record, so maybe you'll be interested in the songs "It's True," "My Cabin Window," "Poor Cathlena," and "Green Water."

When questioned by telephone the pilot said he felt fine. He was asked to hum a few bars of "Green Water." He did. It's hard to judge songs by telephone. The connection was not good, either.

THE YEAR THAT BLOG FORGOT IS: 1951. (This is the year I was born.)

The grand explorer W.M. McGovern will "captivate the head-hunters" by playing jazz on the phonograph he will carry into the Brazilian jungle.

The NYT reports, assuring us that the dangers of the jungle have been greatly exaggerated. Ants are more of a problem than the much talked about snakes, and the Indians are "peaceable and kind-hearted." I hope so, for McGovern's sake, and I hope he brings back some nice motion pictures of the Indians hearing our crazy music for the first time.

THE YEAR THAT BLOG FORGOT IS: 1925.